Helen Chandler

A Life More Ordinary

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Tag: health anxiety

March 21, 2019 helenlouisechandler

Let’s Talk About Death, Baby

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Back to blogging

March 23, 2018March 23, 2018 helenlouisechandler

The anxiety bitch

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This is an experiment. Since she started school, only a week ago, the 4yo has been in the habit of coming home, wolfing down a snack and then asking for some telly time. Now, I am not averse to her chilling out with some screen time after a busy day and during a massive period of adjustment. However, once the telly goes on it is increasingly difficult to prise her away from it until teatime. If I try, we have tantrums, just at a time when I am also trying to make tea, help with homework etc, so she ends up watching a couple of hours, which is more than I'd ideally like. It occurred to me that maybe she just doesn't have the capacity to decide what she does want to do, and telly is just easy. So today I have arranged some of her cookery toys in a hopefully appealing way (I enjoyed doing it anyway!), in the hope that it might grab her interest and postpone the request for telly just a little. I'm also going to shake things up a bit by taking snacks to pick up, and suggesting we take a detour and hunt for conkers on our way home. #beingfour #mumlife #afterschool #startingschool #autumndays
We dropped this adorable little munchkin off for her first day at school this morning. With her sister's old Frozen rucksack (and in her sister's old skirt, t-shirt and cardi come to that!) but new, ultra-shiny @clarksshoes shoes of which she is inordinately proud. I have tried to make sense of my swirling emotions in a blog post for @selfishmother (link in profile). #firstdayatschool #newshoes #prelovedclothes #growingupfast #beingfour #mygirl #thismummywrites #writingmotherhood #selfishmother
The 10yo and I have a new Tuesday ritual. She bakes after school, and we eat what she's made while watching Bake Off. This week, Viennese Whirls dipped in chocolate. I like this tradition. #bakeoff #viennesewhirls #thisgirlbakes #mummyanddaughter #traditions
How gorgeous are these 1930s storage jars, coffee pot, teapot and milk jug? These were originally my great-aunt's, and when she died a few years ago my auntie inherited them. Sadly she has been very ill this year, and is no longer able to live in her own home, and so these have now passed to me, and I will love having them. At the moment my 4yo is obsessed with Dorothy Edwards' 'My Naughty Little Sister' books (the irony of this is not lost on my 10yo!), and I'm loving reading them to her, and looking at Shirley Hughes' gorgeous illustrations, and immersing myself in the world my grandparents would have lived in as small children. So these fit my mood music perfectly. #vintagehome #vintagestyle #shelfie #littlecornersofmyhome #familyhistory #mylifeinbooks
I did an Instagram detox for Lent, and one of the real positives was that I felt much more present during the school Easter holidays. So I'm going to repeat it for the summer holidays, and I'm giving up Facebook for that period too. I just find it too easy, when the children are being fractious or irritating or boring or noisy to slide away into someone else's pretty life for a bit. As a SAHM I often really crave that connection with the adult world. It never works, though, because what the children crave is my attention, and when they sense they don't fully have it they just become more persistent and I become more frustrated and we get a vicious circle. It's my 4yo's last day in nursery today, Reception for her in September. And only another year in primary school for my eldest. They are both growing and changing so fast, and while I don't want to be too starry eyed about it all I do want to lean in and try properly connecting with them this summer. More wave jumping, less scrolling. Have a lovely day summer everyone, see you in September. #instagramdetox #summeroff #summer #summerholidays #onlyconnect #childhoodunplugged #adulthoodunpluggedtoo #jumpthewaves
I should be working, but it's feeling heavy going, so instead I'm scrolling through my phone and finding lovely photos of husband and youngest playing giant skittles at the Merton College Family Garden Party a couple of weeks ago. Husband and I met in our first week at Merton, 20 years ago and this year, and it will always be one of the most special places in the world for me, so to get to see our children playing a few yards from where we shared our first kiss is such a privilege. #merton #mertoncollegeoxford #mertongardenparty #chestnutlawn #giantskittles #beingfour #childhoodunplugged #makesmehappy

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