I love those articles you get in magazines about what various celebrities keep in their immaculate designer handbags. Invariably they have a bottle of water, a pristine lipstick, or perhaps even whole make up bag, perhaps a tablet or magazine, maybe a healthy snack.

Just for fun I thought I would audit my own bag. Now, this bag, a canvas one I got as a birthday present from a friend a few years ago, is definitely a summer bag in my opinion, so I have only been using it for the last couple of months. Here is what has built up in the meantime:

• My laptop and charger. They don’t live in the bag permanently, but I am working today.
• My mobile.
• My purse (complete with broken zip)
• A children’s cookery book I am giving to a friend I might meet up with later
• A bottle of sanitiser hand gel
• A pair of cotton knickers, aged 3-4 (clean)
• A pair of adult trainer socks (slightly grubby – used in soft play)
• A nearly empty packet of tissues
• A nearly empty tube of hand cream, minus lid
• A selection of receipts (probably for totally random cafe visits, whereas the receipts I actually need to keep will be long gone)
• A Highland Sleeper eye mask
• A rose-gold hair clip (adult)
• 3 sparkly hair clips (child)
• A wooden teaspoon
• My house keys
• A tin of vaseline
• 2 tinted lip balms
• A small plastic mermaid
• A lollipop
• A torn off half of prescription form
• A Clinique lipstick (Ruby Pop)
• Two half-eaten tubes of polo mints
• A bracelet of green plastic beads
• 3 different cereal bars
• A nearly finished packet of Kwells Kids travel sickness tablets
• Some sweet wrappers
• A used tissue
• An old shopping list
• A fabric shopping bag
• A pen
• A small fabric beanbag my friend made for my eldest daughter to use as a stress relief toy
• My sunglasses

Glamorous or what? It’s like a particularly bizarre round of Kim’s Game. I am perversely pleased that there is a red lipstick and my laptop in there as I try and maintain my own identity amongst the party bag tat, discarded trinkets and endeavours to prevent my offspring throwing up on buses.